GOODBYE PRIMARY

Hampton Union- 01-11-08

It's over. The TV advertisements will stop. The endless campaign mailings are finished. And, my personal favorite annoyance, those seemingly endless phone surveys will end.

TV ads: Clearly the largest expense of any political campaign and, in the beginning of the season, the most effective. No politically concerned citizen minds seeing a smiling face with a positive message every now and then. The key words here are "every now and then." When things begin to heat up, about in the middle of the campaign, the ads go from being a smiling positive message to a more intense, dour, almost name calling, negative communiqué. They are almost always accompanied by a grainy, unflattering photo or clip of the intended opposition target either picking their nose or scratching their butt. The worst part is the frequency of these ads. One night my wife counted at least eight while pondering the trials and tribulations of someone she refers to as "Dr. McDreamy" during a commercial break.

Campaign mailings: In the beginning there are just a few that clog our mail boxes. As in the TV ads, almost all are positive. In the beginning that is. When the election is close the candidate manages to still have an attractive, highly air brushed image of them, yet seem to find the most ugly, unattractive image of the opponent. It is at this juncture we all start to receive mailing from all the fringe groups such as "Save the Sloths" and "Peace Through Warmth and Understanding." I wonder how many trees would be saved if all the candidates keep mailings to a minimal.

Phone surveys: Clearly the most annoying aspect of this year's election. The sad truth is that they are all totally unnecessary. Telephone poll takers and surveys are for the most part, contracted by media outlets, such as newspapers, magazines, and TV networks. Their main purpose is to give lazy reporters something to talk about. The secondary purpose is to create controversy and concern among voters. The third and more nefarious purpose, "In My Humble Opinion," is to steer the perceived slack-jawed, knuckle-dragging voters away from one candidate and toward another.

In the Dupuis household I simply accuse the caller of not being who he says he is, but instead the guy who is seeing my wife on the sly and that if I ever find him he will pay with his life. My wife on the other hand responds to all the questions with a deep sultry voice culminating by stating that Tom Brady is receiving her vote for president. My 13 year old does her "valley girl" impression saying Paris Hilton is her choice. She ends the call by stating she has to go because of a critical appointment to get her nails done.

Most New Hampshire residents, whether political junkies such as myself, or not, take our first-in-the-nation primary status very seriously. We invite candidates into our homes, our church meeting halls and our restaurants. We don't do it just to listen to some canned stump speech either. We do it because we want to look any potential president directly in the eye when we ask a question. We do it because we want any potential candidate to look us directly in the eye when he or she answers. We're pretty smart here in New Hampshire and can spot a phony a mile away.

Of course, this is all just "In My Humble Opinion."

Ron Dupuis is a longtime New Hampshire resident, former state representative and a freelance writer. E-mail him at drcdupuis@comcast.net or visit his Web site at www.imho-nh.blogspot.com.