On The Trail

By Dave Buhlman

There was quite a stir caused in Plainville, NH when several of the leaders of the free world to be showed up to investigate the situation at the siege of the Brown home.

Barack "My Girl" Obama (Saddam Osama to Ted Kennedy) was disturbed by the number of heavily armed state and federal agents and military equipment surrounding the home of the Brown's, two sixtyish citizens who may not reach retirement in a state of freedom. That is, at least, not in jail, freedom being quite a relative state in these days when "they hate us for our freedoms" so much so that Bush and Congress had to pass the Patriot Act and suspend habeas corpus.

Senator Obama, whose campaign is working feverishly to get a hot dude to sing and sway to "Obama's Boy" in the name of equality, was calmed by the sage counsel of Senator Hillary ("Kill Bill, But Not Yet") Clinton who said she could have Bill's former AG, Janet "Rent a Tank" Reno up there in no time to get the situation settled but quick. And without a big Waco-level fire. Barack did not like this solution, but agreed with Bush, Hillary, Teddy, and John "Viva Mexico" McCain that the Brown's, in questioning the applicability of the federal income tax to ordinary wage-earning Americans, were indeed threatening the freedom of all Americans everywhere. Why can't the Browns just get some imaginative accountants like those who guide the made men and women in DC, they agreed, and left for the nearby diner to talk about how they plan to bring democracy to Mars. Or Desecration on Flag Day Massachusetts.

The Browns asked the question that millions of Americans (including IRS agents who have resigned after looking into the tax code to check out what the "tax kooks" were claiming) have asked that simply rocks the system to its core. Please, they ask, just show us the law that requires us to file and we will do so in a heartbeat. The government responds with levies, trials and jail time. The funny thing is, the law is so clear when it comes to imposing federal excise taxes, and kind of fuzzy when it comes to imposing income taxes. Why is that?

After Hillary and Osama, er, Obama, left, Mitt and Rudy showed to provide their wise counsel. Mitt said the whole tax code was a "null set" and that he would hold the line on taxes like he did in Massachusetts. Just ask any regular citizen in that state how well Mitt did. Rudy fainted with joy when he saw the military equipment. It so reminded him of the many deals he has brokered for his Arab clients.

The "Straight Talk" express bus was last seen entering Vermont via the Route 9 bridge, also known as the Seabees Bridge. Senator McCain had heard of an illegal immigrant in Vermont who was not getting free medical service and he was headed there to empty a few wallets of ordinary working citizens to pay the freight for this wandering soul, who was surely one of his amigos.