Dear Diary

By Ron Dupuis

Dear Diary;
I realize I haven’t written to you for awhile, but since today is my 62nd birthday I thought perhaps an entry at this junction of my life would be appropriate. I’m aware that you will not provide any answers or advice to my queries and concerns, however, reflecting with you on some past events may lift the fog of age in my brain and better prepare me for some important decisions that have to be made in the very near future.

Decisions such as income.

You remember my beautiful, understanding, wonderful wife don’t you Dear Diary? (I had to say that, she reads everything I write.) Last week she informed me that despite my government pension, some small investments that have produced a few extra dollars recently, and the “less than pittance” this column generates, I am not contributing enough to the Dupuis family coffers. In all fairness, she made this announcement after receiving a $6000 orthodontist bill that will come due next week.
What’s an old geezer like myself to do?
I considered working at the local retailer as a greeter. I even practiced the phrase “Welcome to Wal-Mart” a few times. I killed that idea when I realized that my fallen arches and having to use the bathroom every fifteen minutes would not be a very pleasant career. Beside, it would interfere with my morning “Tee” time this summer.

“Cream and sugar with that?” This is something I considered. That is until I realized that working with a bunch of young and what surely must be future rocket scientist of the world would not only depress me, the anxiety and concern for this countries space program would probably kill me. Beside, it would interfere with my afternoon “Tee” time this summer.

School bus driver; I thought about this for about two whole seconds. Chauffeuring twenty or thirty pre-pubescent, hormonal raging young people from place, to place, without the benefit of me being on a whole host of illegal substance’s is simply out of the question. Besides, you guessed it “Dear Diary”, it would interfere with my evening “Tee” time this summer.
Yes “Dear Diary”, I did what every red blooded, seasoned senior American citizen with my lack of ambition should do. I turned to my Government for help.
My trip to the Social Security office was not as traumatic as I had figured. Except for having to take a number from a machine that reminded me I needed to pick up some salami and coleslaw at the deli later, once in front of their representative I was received in a warm understanding manor.
“Yes Mr. Dupuis, you are eligible to receive you benefits at age sixty two.”
“Yes Mr. Dupuis, despite how the government funds Social Security, your benefits will always be there.”
“Yes Mr. Dupuis, you will receive an extra check for your daughter who is under the age of eighteen.”
“Yes Mr. Dupuis you may use your benefit check in any manner you wish.” “Even a new set of golf clubs, if that’s what you desire.”
And finally, “No Mr. Dupuis, I won’t call your wife and tell her that’s a mandatory purchase with your first check.”

All in all Dear Diary, it was a pretty good day. I resolved a family income issue, I became aware that despite my complaining and worrying over the years, Social Security is there for me, and, for now, I don’t have to utter the words “Do you want fries with that.”
Not a bad day.

Now, as a full fledged, bonafide seasoned citizen AND Social Security recipient, I intend on taking full advantage of my new status by driving with my directional light constantly blinking, eating only at restaurants that have “Early Bird Specials”, and beginning every sentence with “In my day.”
Being older can be nice.


Ron Dupuis is a long time New Hampshire resident, a former State Representative, and a freelance writer. His e-mail is drcdupuis@comcast.net. His web site may be viewed at www.imho-nh.blogspot.com.