The Telegram, R.I.P.

---by Micheal

The "email" of the 1800s is finally gone. Western Union -- a name which means telegram to folks over 40 -- announced that it has discontinued its telegraph service. No more telegrams. A part of me feels a twinge of nostalgia at the passing. The telegram had been a part of our cultural heritage. It was, in the days before cell phones and Blackberries, how important information was delivered.

Telegrams were fast. Letters could take many weeks. The Pony Express was faster than regular mail, but it was just snail mail with turbochargers. The mystique of speed led one riverboat owner in 1853 to name his Ohio River side-wheeler "Telegraph". The very image of modern high-tech speed, for its day.

After speed, came the mystique of importance. A message too important and time-sensitive to wait for snail mail went as a telegram. Phone calls were too ephemeral and casual.

Families, during the war, dreaded the sight of a telegram delivery man. The government used telegrams to deliver the sad news of a fallen soldier. Self-important business men in the 1920s and 30s enjoyed having a courier interrupt their social flufferies. They were obviously very important men to be interrupted with such important news. (yeah, whatever)

All of that history and usage built up a cache of glamor and importance for the telegram, even though all it was really doing was delivering some word content faster than other available means. I think it's the cache we'll miss. Email has built up a little cache in our modern culture, as evidenced in the Tom Hanks, Meg Ryan movie "You've Got Mail" (1998). Blackberries (if they survive the legal ax) and cellphones have already taken over as the badge of (self)importance for business types.

But, let's not get too misty eyed over the departure of the telegram. Aside from its cache and mystique, it was at its heart, a medium for delivering a message. I'm sure some folks lamented the last run of the Pony Express, or the last clipper ship of mail bound to 'round the horn' for the opposite coast. We still get messages -- tons of them. They have just found new and faster carriers.

Some time in the future, messages may get delivered in marvelous, almost miraculous ways -- perhaps directly from the head of the "sender" to the mind of the "recipient". Voices in our heads. Text will seem as awkward as we view Morse Code. Our grandchildren's children will look back at the rustic early 21st century and smile. "How quaint that great grandpa used to have to go look at words on a screen."

In the nursing homes of the mid 2000s, old folks will rock in their chairs and reminisce over the thrill of receiving an important email or "instant message" during a formal dinner, etc. etc. blah blah blah. Their adult children will smile at how simple and romantic life was "back in the old days."