Too much "nice" stifles Christmas

---by Micheal

Too much of a "good thing" has turned Christmas into a time of great stress instead of great joy. Our nation's founding fathers' forefathers -- the Puritans -- frowned on Christmas festivity and merrymaking. They didn't object to marking the birth of Christ so much as they objected to the pagan "saturnalia" traditions of much food, cavorting and revelry. Puritans thought the focus should be on the birth of mankind's savior, not parties.

Ultimately, the Puritans lost that battle. By the mid 1800s even respectable Christmas celebrations were very merry. There was feasting, decorations and carols, but celebrating the birth of Christ was still the focus. "Joy to the world, the Lord is come..." In our era, however, it seems like the joy of Christmas is getting shoved aside.

The culprit, I think, is that we are trying to pack too much "nice" into Christmas. Our excess didn't happen all at once. We added "nice" things one at a time. Decorating our houses was a "nice" thing, so we did that. Hosting festive parties was a "nice" thing, so held parties. Buying a gift for a loved one was "nice", so we added gifts. Family gatherings were a "nice", so we added travel to reunite our dispersed families for the holiday. Sending cards was a "nice" thing, so we started sending cards.

The trouble (perhaps more so for Americans) was that we couldn't scale anything back. We added more "nice" but never dropped anything. On top of that, we tend to push each "nice" to the max. Every nook and cranny of our houses simply had to be decked. Yards fill up with inflatable or electric effigies. We rush around to buy multiple gifts for just about everyone we know and some we don't. One woman was stressing over having to buy a gift for her boss's dog! We write out cards to everyone who is already on our gift list. We plan lavish parties. We traffic-manage and juggle schedules to get family members together. Busy busy busy.

There's so much "nice" stuff being done, that few have any time to really celebrate that "the Lord is come." It's hard to feel real joy when your cards aren't done yet, the extra bedroom isn't ready for guests, the cookies aren't baked, you can't find a gift for your boss's dog and people are expecting you to drop everything and attend their party. Aaarrrgg!

Have we forever ruined Christmas by over stuffing it with "nice"? Are we doomed to endure joyless Christmases? No, not if we're willing to scale back. I know it goes against the American grain, but it can be done. Do it to reclaim the joy.

The remedy comes in three parts. Do less. Expect less. Celebrate.

Phase One: Don't decorate every square inch. Try buying just one gift for immediate family members only. (i.e. Don't shop for your boss's dog.) Mail cards to only distant loved ones you won't see for six months or so. Don't plan a lavish party.

Phase Two: Don't expect "nice" stuff. Don't get all hurt if you don't get a card from your boss's dog. Don't feel disappointed if you get only one gift. Don't book travel. Don't feel unloved because a family member is spending Christmas elsewhere. You're not a bad person if you don't hold a party.

Phase Three: Instead, leave time to sing carols with your locally available family and/or friends. Visit a neighbor. Read the Christmas story in Luke 2. Have time to attend someone else's party. Reflect on the joy inherent in "...the Lord is come".

Maybe the Puritans weren't so far off base. Preoccupation with party can kill the real joy.