9-1-1 spells "Mom"

---by Micheal

Here are three articles of evidence that the Nanny State is not just a conspiracy perpetrated by some shadowy ruling elite. The Nanny State is also being demanded by our increasingly stupid popular culture. Here are three examples:

Don't Like Your Food? Call 911! -- March 4th, 2009, FoxNews. A 27 year-old Florida woman calls 911 three times because she did not get the Chicken McNuggets that she ordered at a local McDonalds. She placed her order for a 10 piece McNuggets. After she had paid, she found out they were out of nuggets. The manager did not want to give her a refund, and she did not want anything else as a substitute. What to do? Call 911. "This is an emergency. She (the manager) wants to give me a McDouble, but I don't want one."

Scared of the Wild World? Call 911 -- October 25th, 2009, MSNBC. Two men and their sons are hiking in the Grand Canyon. They took with them an emergency locator beacon. In the span of three days, they pressed the "save me!" button three times, sending rescue crews and helicopters in to find them. The "emergency"? They hadn't packed enough water and got thirsty. They drank from a stream and thought the water tasted "salty." What to do? Call 911!

Life's Not Fair? Call 911 -- November 18, 2009, Cnet News. A 15 year-old boy is disciplined by his parents. They took away his Xbox. The boy asks the police if his parents have a legal right to confiscate his toy. A cruiser is dispatched to the family home to resolve the crisis before it explodes. Those mean people took away your toy! What to do? Call 911!

Common Denominator? -- Increasingly, average citizens of this country are turning to the Nanny State to be their moms (or dads). Instead of the Florida woman calling her mom to complain about McDonalds' service or ask advice, she calls for state emergency services. Heaven forbid that someone was trying to call in about a heart attack or a house on fire. We're talkin' Nuggets here! Apparently it was asking far too much that this woman sort out her life-wrinkles herself. Reason with the manager? Take the stupid McDouble and shut up? All options.

But no. The police had to go be her dad. They also told her to buck up and stop bothering them.

The canyon hikers were ill-prepared for a real trek through the wild. Not only did they not have enough of the right supplies, they did not have enough common sense to not go where they were clueless. They could have called their moms and dads and sought some advice on whether to make such a trip, and if so, what to bring. You might think that the first emergency call was enough to convince the noobs that they were out of their element and should maybe just go back to the safety of home.

But no. They kept hiking and called for emergency rescue two more times. The helicopter crew had to play "dad" and take them home.

The bratty gameboy considers his mom and dad to be some sort of accidental room mates and not parents. The kid assumes he has some Constitutional Right to play video games 24/7. Where's the ACLU on this? What to do? Call 911! God forbid that someone's house could be getting robbed, or a drunk driver crashing into things. We're talkin' video games here! This is an emergency. Apparently the kid had not thought to reflect on what his parents were trying to tell him, or learn a life lesson from a disciplinary action. All good options.

But no. He calls the police as if his civil rights had been violated. To their credit, the officers told the kid that his parents did have a right to control his gaming and stop bothering them. What a shock that must have been.

If and when the Great Nanny State becomes a reality, it may not be because some evil ruling elite has forced it upon us. It may well come about because our stupid populace demanded it. We are becoming a people who demand services from our state. We've abdicated doing things for ourselves. We want to stay frozen in childhood where we can shout "MOM!" when something upsets us. It's just that now, we spell MOM, 9-1-1.